Sadly enough, until today I couldn't really pin point anything, although I know that somewhere between 1992 and 2000, I really wished to be a singer. But since I would've ended a lot of shows for a lot of people (i.e. "It's not over until the fat lady sings"), it kinda remained as a childhood fantasy only.
Apart from being a singer, I never knew what I wanted to do. It was probably from the lack of guidance I had. My parents, both economists, too stressed about their jobs, couldn't really take one minute off to think what suited their kid and what were their talents. Was the kid even talented? No, let's presume from the start that the kid is dumb and try to get them a life. So I ended up passing the exam for admission into a private university. Back then it was the safest thing: pay the money, go to university, get diploma. Simple, huh? To their surprise, most probably, I also managed to get admitted into two other public universities and I chose the last one: the famous Academy of Economic Studies from Bucharest. Loads of pretty girls, huh? Not me! Why did I go there? Coz I studied MANAGEMENT! How cool did that sound back then? Awesome! I was going to manage my favourite band... God, such a kid I was! Hmm, maybe my parents actually knew something...
Anyway, I finished the bloody university, wishing to never ever again set foot into it and for all the professors there (apart from a handful) to just go and *beep* themselves for being so incompetent!
Still... what did I wanna do? Had no idea... On the last year of the university, I took a job. I think I did my best and I liked what I was doing a lot, put a lot of passion and neural links (R.I.P.) into it, but... it wasn't my dream come true.
Moved on to another job... Same field, just turned the arms against the old place of work. Hehe, that sounds terribly like treason. It wasn't really like that, most of the work being done to also help the old place of work, but just from their contract partners' camp. Still... not my dream.
Tonight though... my friend Leila asked if I wished to go see James McAvoy's last movie, "Wanted". Sure I said yes and off we went. Little did I know about how seeing this movie was going to change something inside me.
You see, the movie is about a guy who's a total loser (very well played by James McAvoy). He has a shitty job, everyone ignores him, his work mate *beep* his lousy blonde girlfriend, he has no money, he's being way too polite and apologises for basically anything! One day of his lousy life, while shopping for drugs against anxiety attacks (been there, done that, not a thing I would recommend to anyone), this HOT tattooed woman (Angelina Jolie) apparently saves his life and takes him to a place where he finds out unknown facts about his life. His father, supposed dead since his childhood, had only died the previous day and he was a great some special kind of assassin. Therefore, our hero has the same talent as his dad, and his anxiety attacks are actually adrenalin flowing through his body, enabling him to have some kind of super powers, if only he could learn how to use that.
Although, the story he's being told is hard to believe, the next day he does something he never did before: he stops being polite, saying sorry, taking shit from his boss or his above-mentioned work mate. Little by little, with the help of his new friends, he changes from the person he used to be into the person he NEEDED to be. Of course, he kicks a lot of ass, shoots a lot of bullets, fights a lot, looks to-be-drooled-over without a shirt on (keep going to the gym, James!!!! :) ) and, as the good guy that he is, wins in the end.
Why did this movie make me think and make me change? I'll tell you... All my life, I've kept it quiet, never wanted to bother anyone, always apologised to people even though sometimes it wasn't my fault, I addressed anyone polite even though some of the replies I got were not so nice, I tried to do good and I got shit in return.
Therefore, from now on I am NOT going to politely ask the assholes that cannot read the sign "PRIVATE PARKING LOT" and get inside the yard, following me, in the morning, to take their car out. Why not? Because whenever I do this, I get a lot of shit in return and stupid questions. I will just put back the chain and lock it. If they wanna go out, we shall have a conversation. I will make sure that when saying "hello" to some of the people I work with in the same VERY SMALL building, they will reply! I won't take any shit from sellers who instead of kissing your butt or at least leave you alone to look through the things you might BUY (this triggering a chain of events in their favour), they either look at you disgusted just because you dared not being the models' size or let you wait while they chit-chat on their mobiles while studying their nails or are just being rude. Same thing goes for waiters in restaurants!
So... in case you haven't realised by now, when I grow up I wanna be a SUPER HERO! :)))) Not necessarily a good one or a bad one, just someone that has super powers! Someone who will get the justice they crave for. Not only for myself, but also for other people. Guess I only have to find a costume now... Any suggestions are welcome! :)
I guess it's time for me to take my coloured pills and go to sleep. But not before leaving you to see the trailer for "Wanted", in case you haven't seen the movie. I recommend it! It's great!